The Popcorn Stand: I’ll get right in the middle of microwave use

As a kid I can basically remember the infancy of TV dinners. I can remember sticking the TV dinner in the oven and 45 minutes later it came out ready to eat. I thought, wow? A whole dinner in just 45 minutes and I all I had to do was stick the dinner into the oven.

Now I’m like Homer Simpson in “The Simpsons” when Moe tries to turn his bar into a family restaurant and invests in a huge deep friar. Moe says “this thing can fry a buffalo in 40 seconds” to which Homer groans, “40 seconds — but I want it now.”

So, yes, I’m pretty lazy with the microwave and waiting any longer than 3 minutes for my food is pretty annoying. What’s more annoying is not leaving the food in the microwave long enough and having to get back up and put it back into the microwave.

And forget about stirring the mashed potatoes, although I must say I don’t mind putting a slit in the film of the tray. I’ve actually seen microwavable items where that’s not necessary. We’ve become so lazy as a society, we can’t even put a slit in the film of the microwave food we prepare.

Although I must admit when a microwavable item has like more than two directions (put the thing in and heat), I think what’s the point of using a microwave?

Now I’ve read about a simple trick that seems so obvious to prevent my microwave item from becoming overcooked or lukewarm. There’s nothing worse than food in which part of it’s hot and part of it’s cold. Actually there’s plenty that’s a lot worse, but it’s still annoying. Especially when I reheat my spaghetti.

But now I’ve read all you have to do is make a small hole in the middle of your food. Genius. I wonder if this would work with burritos because they’re probably the most frustrating item to microwave.

I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a microwaved burrito in which I haven’t burned my tongue and eaten a frozen piece all in the same sitting. It’s like that day in May I spent once in Nevada in which I was snowed on in the morning and then suffered a sunburn in the afternoon.

Anyway, when it comes to using a microwave, this is one time when I’ll be fine with being right in the middle of everything.

— Charles Whisnand


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