Sports Fodder: Britney Clemens = TMZ.com Athlete of the Year

Sports fodder for a Friday morning . . .

It's almost as if Roger Clemens' new life coach is Britney Spears these days. Britney Clemens just won't get off our television screens. The real Britney keeps making midnight munchie runs to 7-Eleven each night for that tasty Big Gulp, Slurpee and hotdog as the paparazzi snaps her photo in various stages of makeup. Britney Clemens shows up at Houston Astros minor league camp to throw batting practice. The guy is just asking to be abused by the media. Does he want to be the TMZ.com Athlete of the Year? Here's hoping Clemens shaves his head, grows a beard, buys a big floppy hat and goes to live on a beach in Australia sometime soon.

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Let's give Britney Clemens the benefit of the doubt and assume that he's pitching to the Astros' prospects because his son is an Astros minor leaguer. Let's hope he's not just in the early stages of yet another comeback and wants to get back in shape. But either way it's sad. Clemens is turning out to be the ultimate Little League dad, refusing to trust anyone else to coach his son. Roger, your kid doesn't need you to throw him BP anymore. He's in pro ball. Go sit in the stands like every other dad. If you want to make sure your kid is making friends in his new job, just invite his teammates over for a barbecue someday and let them touch your Cy Young awards. Some guys just deserve all the abuse they get.

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The Tampa Bay Rays must be crazy or desperate to even consider signing Barry Bonds. Talk about deserving abuse. Why would an organization that made a point of getting rid of young and talented problems like Delmon Young and Elijah Dukes want a guy like Bonds, a young and worn out problem? This is the franchise that just dropped the "Devil" from its name and now it wants to add it to their clubhouse? Bonds can't play the field anymore. He can't run the bases. He can't even play more than 120 games as a designated hitter. His head, not to mention his ego, probably wouldn't even fit inside Tropicana Field. Baseball needs Bonds and Clemens to go Down Under and raise dingoes for the next decade or so.

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Tony LaRussa insisted this week that he is convinced that Mark McGwire never used steroids. Uh, Mr. La Russa, have you seen a television set, turned on a radio, or looked at the internet lately? Better yet, have you seen a calendar? It's not 1998 anymore. The cat is out of the bag. We now know that major league baseball players, especially those that got as big as a mountain, used performance enhancing drugs as much as Fred Biletnikoff and Lester Hayes used Stick-um. LaRussa needs to make like McGwire and refuse to talk about the past.

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Shaquille O'Neal and the Phoenix Suns have had a rough honeymoon. Imagine that. The guy who is big enough to block out the sun is also going to block the Suns from the NBA Finals. Go figure. Yes, we know the Los Angeles Lakers got Pau Gasol. The Dallas Mavericks got Jason Kidd. The Cleveland Cavaliers got Ben Wallace. And the Suns got Shaq. But when the NBA Finals roll around in June, it's going to be the Detroit Pistons and San Antonio Spurs (and maybe the Utah Jazz) on the floor. Imagine that.

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Louisville center and Reno High graduate David Padgett is one of the best stories in college basketball this season. Padgett has battled back from yet another injury this year and is enjoying a great senior year. This is a young man who has fought back through as much physical adversity as any player in the country during his career, suffering injuries on a yearly basis since his sophomore year in high school. DePaul coach Jerry Wainwright was quoted this year as saying, "I have a special fondness for David Padgett. What he's done to overcome all the injuries he's had in his career, I don't know if I've seen a better leader who plays inside. He's everything every coach in America would want." Louisville coach Rick Pitino said, "David is like a coach on the floor. Generally, you don't see 7-footers do that, show that much leadership ability." Yes, as Greg Oden told ESPN The Magazine, a big man can be a leader, too. Padgett is going to be a great young coach once his playing career is over.

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Everyone already knows that the Chicago Bears couldn't recognize a great quarterback even if Archie Manning showed them some old home movies of his kids. But after the Bears signed Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton to one-year deals this week, it's obvious that they can't even recognize a horrible quarterback when they see one.

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Tiger Woods is an amazing golfer. He's probably the best golfer in the history of the game. We get it. But here's the deal. It's golf. We repeat, IT'S GOLF! Stop telling me that Woods is the most dominant athlete in the history of sports. When someone starts getting in Woods' face, guarding him on every shot, then I'll admit he's the most dominant athlete. When someone knocks Woods down after his follow-through, then I'll tell the world he's the best athlete. When someone drills a ball in Woods' ear as he's lining up a putt, then I'll say he's the most dominant. But until then, sorry, he's not in the same conversation of dominating athletes with Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Willie Mays, Jim Brown and others. IT'S GOLF!

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Big college basketball games in the regular season like Tennessee-Memphis this week are all well and good. But, really, want does it mean? Nothing. And that's the problem with college basketball. The regular season is just for tournament seeding and to sell tickets and pay those ridiculous coaches' salaries. Cut the NCAA Tournament back down to 48 teams - 32 would be even better - and then the regular season will have some meaning.

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The NFL Network spent the better part of this week televising the Indianapolis combine. OK, we understand that the NFL is important. We understand that the NFL draft is also fun to watch. But, really, do you really want to see hour after hour of the three-cone drill in an empty Indianapolis dome? Then again, when Darren McFadden ran a 4.3 40-yard dash this week, there was some thought of adding him to that Most Dominating Athlete in History conversation.

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If Reno's Triple-A baseball club is looking for a manager next winter, we have a suggestion. The team is going to be an Arizona Diamondbacks affiliate. Matt Williams is a Diamondbacks employee and a former player. Williams is a Northern Nevada legend. He'd be perfect as the first manager in Reno's Triple-A history.