Letter: Hi from Speedonia
This is a story on drivers as seen through the eyes of a visitor from the small and hidden from the world country of Speedonia.
I was visited last week by an old friend of mine, whom I had meet while on my travels in the country of Speedonia. I extended an invitation to him to come and visit me in Nevada if he ever got the chance. He explained to me that his country had very few automobiles and the ones who had them treated them like their most prized possession. So, we went out for a drive one day in the beautiful Carson Valley. His observations and experiences follow.
My name is Joseph Yogotsit (not his real name) and I would like to share with everyone my experiences as a visitor from another land. In my country, driving with your very own vehicle is a great privilege and no one considers it to be an inherited right.
I was amazed how illiterate your drivers are. Just about everyone I was on the road with had trouble reading the road signs, especially the speed limit sign. I am wondering if it is a special language barrier that I was not able to overcome. I could not help but notice the many finger and hand gestures that people were displaying at one another. This must be a cultural exchange that creates some form of bonding between drivers on the roads. I was also amazed at the poor eyesight of so many people as they were following so close to the other cars. I assume they had trouble reading the funny bumper stickers and license plates. In my country, following that close to another vehicle is very dangerous. We call it stupid and most times it is done by people who have a problem with their motor skills.
It is troubling to see so many people who appear to be color blind. I don’t know how many of them I saw zoom through your red light, which I thought meant you were supposed to stop. I am truly at wits’ end as to why your drivers haphazardly zoom past each other on the highway and then all meet together at the traffic light. Could this be something left over from when you were children and wanted to always be first in line? My ancestor, who happened to be a mind doctor by the name of Sigmund, would have a term to explain this condition, likewise, for all the raging on the road I read about. It reminds me of the Barbarian hordes that used to roam my country on horseback pillaging and terrorizing everything in sight. I guess some people have not advanced much since those times.
It has truly been an interesting experience driving around on your roads. I will be very happy to return to my country. We are much more civilized and have a greater measure of respect for the citizens who drive on our roads.