Editorial: Top 10 ways to get the DMV line moving | RecordCourier.com

Editorial: Top 10 ways to get the DMV line moving

by staff

In our ongoing efforts to be a service to the community, we’ve come up with suggestions to make life easier at the Genesis-plagued, line-choking, computer-crashing Department of Motor Vehicles.

From The Record-Courier’s virtual home office on Eddy Street: Top 10 things guaranteed to make the line move faster at DMV:

10. Hire your daughter’s scary-looking boyfriend to hold your place in line – the more spikes and body piercings, the better. Tell him not to shower a day or two before.

9. Borrow the rowdiest children you can find to run uncontrolled around the office. Bark at them occasionally.

8. Use your cell phone to order anchovy and pizzas for everybody, heavy on the anchovies and garlic, hold the pizza.

7. Organize a group sing-a-long.

6. Started a heated political discussion on how many governors it takes to change a DMV system.

5. Arrange for the county commission or school board to hold its next regularly scheduled meeting at the DMV. Topic? Strategic planning, followed by a forum on cable TV service.

4. Invite your elementary school-age child to bring their friends by to solicit for Innisbrook wrapping paper.

3. Wear your “I like Anthrax” T-shirt.

2. In a loud voice, let the people behind and in front of you know how impressive medical breakthroughs are by describing how your doctors cured whatever contagious ailment you had – starting today.

1. Shortly before you leave the house: Beans, beans, beans.