What do you limit in your life?
It is very interesting to pay close attention to the thoughts that create your words. They really do show the blueprint of your life. How many times have you talked with someone about a long time problem in your life only to defend its existence with evidence and proof of why you feel this way? Maybe the person you’re talking with offers a different view or perceptive and is met with a subtle defense of the issue. We limit ourselves in this way more than we realize.
These limits usually follow words like but, always and never. When you hear yourself respond in this way, listen closely to what you say or think next. These are the limits you declare. Every time you go over the details of why this problem is in your life you give it more power. It is grounded in the present and continues on as a concrete existence. It’s easy to do when we don’t pay attention to our most precious creative tool, our words. When we say something is so, then we don’t dispute it and there it lives. After it’s said over and over it just becomes a fact of life.
The irony of it all is that when we talk about our problems this usually means we are hoping to heal or change them however, we may be doing just the opposite. Noticing your language and being aware of rigidity is the first step. Once you’ve located the binary thoughts and words you can replace them with something more flexible. For instance, replacing always and never with sometimes. Being mindful of your defense of the problem and your tendency to advocate for its right to be in your life can make room for new information which will come in handy when you begin to let go of the issue and create space for what you really want to come in.
Most of the time, nothing needs to change in our life other than our attitude and perspective. Once this happens the “problems” seem to change on their own. We limit the new by being so convinced of the existence of the old.
Bridgette DeBoer M.A., is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, marriage and family therapist. She can be reached at 450-6632.