When life seems grueling…
Difficulties come and go. Often the difficulties are external while other times we struggle with an internal upheaval. Either way we tend to hold on tight and attempt to navigate the process through control. It’s rather natural for us to do so. It’s part of our innate survival reaction. For the most part this is helpful however; we have evolved to a point in which we no longer need to protect ourselves to this degree. Nevertheless, when life feels arduous we brace.
During struggle we search for the ground. We look for something to hold and root in. After a complicated day out in the world we know despite everything we have our home to ground with. Except on occasion it is our home or the people in it that we are having issue with. Or, maybe it’s within our own self that we feel this lack of connection and feeling unsafe is part of the struggle.
When this happens it’s important to open up to your experience and allow the emotions to be felt without hindrance. There may not be any ground to hold on to and that’s okay. Allowing your emotional process to move through you with the understanding that feelings are not permanent conditions is the most compassionate response you can have for yourself. When we make the mistake of judging our emotions we then get stuck in a repetitive cycle of having a feeling about our feeling and this distracts you from healing. Being frustrated that you have not yet moved past a hurtful situation only lengthens the process. Knowing when to seek professional help is part of honoring your needs.
Practice kindness and feel your feelings without criticism. Support yourself by giving the space and acceptance you need to fully feel and let go of what holds your heart down and keeps you heavy. Emotions are energy in motion and when we allow them to flow without obstruction we can acknowledge what they have to teach us. All too often we fall into the mistake of thinking if we let go and truly feel our feelings then we will get stuck in them. When fear holds us back from processing something it becomes more complicated than it needs to be. Curiosity is more powerful than fear. Be curious to see what’s on the other side; accept your feelings. Feel them and be free.
Bridgette DeBoer M.A., is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, marriage and family therapist. She can be reached at 450-6632.