What is your story?
Have you identified your story? The one that keeps playing over and over in your life?
The players change but the plot and most significantly, the end stays the same. If you have, then you’ve already done a large portion of the work.
Recognizing you are the common denominator can take years of finding yourself hitting the same wall and wondering how this happened again.
This story we all have is what we think makes us who we are. It’s all the details of what we have experienced and the manner in which we interpreted it. Many times we didn’t even interpret it ourselves, we just accepted someone else’s version.
Others’ perceptions or outright judgments they have shared help create this. It’s easy to interject these versions if we’re not paying attention.
You know there is some editing to do when you find yourself in a story line that causes pain. One that doesn’t bring you joy or feel authentic to who you feel you are.
There is a difference with who you think you are and who you feel that you are. Clearing the cognitive dissonance here is important work.
Letting go of your story brings freedom, but first there is a certain discomfort. When we let go of something kept close for decades the empty space can feel like a vacuum. If we accepted false beliefs about ourselves from others then letting those go leaves questions. Who am I without this story, without this old familiar wound?
Taking time to allow the space to be empty is valuable. You don’t need to fill it right away. It’s best not too. Allow the space to slowly fill.
Imagine you are decorating a room. You want to be mindful and pick each piece on purpose, not in haste. You want to really love being in this room, having it full of symbols and artifacts of your deepest truth and most organic self. And one day soon, you’ll notice this room is your favorite place to be. It’s intimate and natural feeling because it was in your dreams all along.
Bridgette DeBoer M.A., is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, marriage and family therapist. She can be reached at 450-6632.