Two girls’ story of their families’ divorce. |

Two girls’ story of their families’ divorce.

by Merrie Leininger

Victoria and Christina feel very alone since their parents announced they would be getting divorces.

They both say they don’t trust their parents as much and feel unnaturally pressured by both to spend more time with them and validate each ones’ parenting skills.

Christina doesn’t eat and is going to the doctor to get checked for a possible ulcer. Both say their grades are slipping because they are so distracted. Victoria says she is too tired in school because she cries herself to sleep very late and wakes up early.

They find solace in each other, but say other students don’t understand and are unsympathetic.

Victoria, who is the youngest child and the only one left in the house, is divided between her parents, who each try to convince her to live with them.

“My mom tells me one thing and my dad says another, but I don’t know who to believe. I try to be there for her; I feel she doesn’t have anyone. She gets upset when I do something with my dad. She doesn’t understand that I still love her and still want to be with her even if I am with him,” Victoria said.

Both sets of parents are already dating other people, which really bothers the girls – especially when the other parent quizzes them about their ex-spouses social lives.

“He wanted to know who it was and how long she’s been seeing him. He’s dating someone, but won’t tell me who it is. He’s trying to ask questions like he’s my best friend, but he won’t even tell me who she is,” Victoria said.

Christina, an only child, said her mother has told her a lot of things that she would be happy not knowing: about affairs and domestic abuse.

“My mom showed me the divorce papers. It bothers me when they tell me things they would tell their best friends. It really bothers me when they tell me how happy they are with (their new boyfriend and girlfriend),” Christina said.

Her parents, like Victoria’s, want her to testify at the court hearings and choose one side over the other. Christina said she is torn, but feels very responsible for her mother’s happiness.

“Both of them try to bribe me to be on their side. They give me money or let me do things,” she said.

When they have tried to explain to their parents how they feel, both said they were not understood.

Victoria said she constantly fights with her parents lately.

“I confront them, but it doesn’t stop. It really hurts me because it’s my home. I get real upset. I told her, but she said she can’t see (that her behavior hurts me),” Victoria said.

She said she has things to tell her parents, if they would only listen.

“I’d probably tell them I’m really hurt by the divorce and I’m sorry I haven’t told them earlier. It hurts me when they talk bad about each other. It doesn’t feel like they care about me right now. Now I feel like I can’t open up to them,” she said.

Christina had a similar message.

“I’d want them to know how much pain I’m going through. I don’t have anyone. I want them to know how much it hurts. I love them both and the divorce hasn’t changed that,” she said.