Is judgment keeping you separate from others? |

Is judgment keeping you separate from others?

by Bridgette DeBoer

We all judge the world around us. Judgment is very important to our survival. We judge whether a situation is safe or dangerous when crossing the street. We judge our behavior when it contradicts our values and morals to make a change for more balance and congruency. This is healthy judgment.

It’s easy to use judgment in a counter productive way. The media is full of judgment. They use judgment to sell products. Covers of magazines comment on celebrity’s lives. Television shows judge their clothing. In this way judgment is used as a defense mechanism. Judging another can give temporary relief to the one judging, by giving them the illusion they are better than the one they judge. This type of judgment keeps us separate from one another.

When we judge each other we are looking for differences. We are labeling characteristics, attributes and physicality as good, bad, better or worse. This derives from our ego and the ego isn’t interested in being a part of a group. It wants to be singular. The problem with this is the ego is extreme. It tells us we are the best or the worst.

Similarities draw us closer to one another. We find comfort in being part of a group or community. We identify with others in our work place, age group and those who share the same belief systems. We have so many different areas of life that are based on participation due to similarities.

The interesting part is we are all more similar than different from one another. If you look hard enough and with a desire to find something you share in common, you will absolutely find it. It all depends on what you really want. Do you want to be separate or do you want to be a part of something bigger?

Bridgette DeBoer M.A., is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, marriage and family therapist intern. She can be reached at 450-6632.