Finding the signatures of love
We all have our own unique pattern of love. Many factors go into this nature within each of us. One, is the version we were exposed to as children and then continued to create duplicate rhythms of. It’s a blend of our most significant relationships during the formative years when we are creating much of our blueprint of life.
We repeat scenarios until we learn from them. Looking deeply into this pattern can be extremely life changing. At the very least it can support a deeper understanding of self and at the other end of the spectrum, it can be dismantled, which allows you to keep what is most authentically yours and let go of the parts that were bestowed upon you. We pick up habits and micro messages from our caregivers that may not fit within our highest good.
These micro messages show up as deeper thought forms or stories within the patterns of our relationships. Love, in and of itself is pure and whole, however we all experience different versions. Each of us has a particular comfort level with closeness or intimacy for instance. How much of yourself you’re willing to expose to another is largely based on early attachments.
Some feel more comfortable giving than receiving which can prove challenging when the dynamic of the relationship lacks reciprocity. Even the way we express our love to another can be done differently than the way we like to receive it. Knowing your and the other significant people in your life’s love language can greatly improve communication and understanding.
Taking a broader look at any pattern in your life can only be of benefit. If relationships have been difficult then looking at the story within your love pattern will help heal recurring relationship dynamics that lead to hurt and confusion. Nothing we do is without reason and everything we do stems from something deeper.
Bridgette DeBoer M.A., is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, marriage and family therapist. She can be reached at 450-6632.