Bible best marriage self-help book
October 5, 2015
I wanted to write about God's plan for marriage, so I checked with Amazon and searched "marriage self-help". I knew a lot of books would come up but I was set back by the nearly 188 thousand titles that appeared. Some of the more unique titles were; "How to improve your marriage with talking about it" and "A Hug A Day Keeps The Meanies Away." The fact that there are so many books on marriage tells me this is a topic where many people need some help.
While I do not claim to be a marriage expert, after 43 years of marriage and having counseled hundreds of couples, I believe I have learned a few things about having a happy marriage. Three things I've learned to make your marriage the best.
First, love God. When your heart is set on God, human relationships go better. When they asked Jesus what was the most important commandment he took them back to the first of the Ten Commandments.
Matthews 22:37 says; "…Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' Jesus goes on and say the second is like it; "Love your neighbor as yourself."
Second, is just that; love one another. Put your spouse above all other affections. Way too many people put their needs first, but when you serve one another in love, the bible says you are fulfilling the law of Christ. The law of love is found in the husband who loves his wife like Christ loved the church. Christ not only died for the church but he served them as he humbled himself in obedience to the cross. The husband who shows his love for his wife is not only willing to die for her but he sets aside his agenda for her, that's the husband who loves like Jesus.
The wife who respects her husband and shows it by how she acts and responds to him, that's the wife who is showing the love of Jesus to her husband.
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Finally, follow God's design for marriage. Genesis 2:24 says; "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
That text is found four times in the Bible and Jesus quoted it in the context of divorce. When asked about the breaking up of a marriage, Jesus said, "that's not God's plan". Although divorce happens it always happens because someone has a hard heart. God's design for marriage is a man and a woman committed to one another in a covenant that is so binding that in God's eyes they are no longer two individuals but one.
The Bible has much more to say about God's design for marriage and when you follow his plan you will have what you need. 2 Peter 1:3 says; "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."
When the author of marriage says, here's my plan, I would think following his plan is the way to have the best marriage.
Pastor Rich Lammay of High Sierra Fellowship is a member of the Carson Valley Ministers' Association.