Being with all your parts
November 8, 2018
Being human is complex. We experience a kaleidoscope of emotion ranging from joy to shame and everything in between. There are parts of us more easily embraced while other parts, maybe judgment or the inner critic, we tend to push away, reluctant to own.
Experiencing pain hurts. We tend to avoid discomfort. There are parts of us that work diligently to help us do that. Parts that are constantly busy with distractions, parts that numb with substances or too much screen time, parts that overthink and try to figure it all out distracting you from feeling and being present in your life. More often than not they are protecting other parts. Parts that hold past hurts, many times from back in our childhood.
The more we ignore these parts the louder they seem to get. Sometimes it can feel as if these parts are running the show, because maybe they are. It has become instinctive to disregard, ignore or push away the parts that need the most attention.
The practice of acknowledging and getting to know these parts from a curious and compassionate perspective allows all your parts to be seen and have a voice to whom it matters most, you. The highest part of our self is the space from which we can operate and greet all the parts without judgment. Richard Swartz, Ph.D., speaks of welcoming all the parts of you into awareness. It's radical compassion turned inward which leads to the understanding that everything you have been looking for on the outside is really what you want and have the power to give yourself on the inside. From this place of knowing and making room for all of you it is much easier to accept both you and others. What if you knew without a doubt each part was working for you in the best way it knows how? Would you feel differently toward them?
Bridgette DeBoer M.A., is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, marriage and family therapist. She can be reached at 450-6632.