Being bored can help
Knowing when to dig in and when to get busy can make all the difference. When difficult feelings arise there are times when further inquiry is very necessary. Getting to the root of a wound is healing. Knowledge is power and having compassion for your hurts help you move on from them. Many times wounds have layers. We try to detour ourselves from the pain through denial, subconscious behaviors or deliberate distractions. Being upset because you feel perpetually under appreciated by others in life is easier to deal with than admitting you struggle with low self-worth. In this case it’s not about the other people as much as it is about why you accept being mistreated. Pulling a weed at its root insures no more growth.
Now, if you have done the work, found the original wound and begun to implement new behaviors to honor yourself then there is no need to sit in the emotion any longer. This is when getting busy brings you more power. It looks like this; that old emotion comes up; you acknowledge it and remember doing the work. You let it know you appreciate it helping you make changes and then simply get busy with what you’re doing. Feelings come up to tell you something while emotions tend to linger. It’s easy to get caught in emotional soup. You can tell you’re there when you realize it’s the same old story that you’ve heard yourself tell over and over again.
Physical movement of any kind can help old energy move, especially if you engage in contradictory behavior to the emotion. Swimming in the soup of not good enough can’t live in you while you are engaged in self-care. There are endless ways to take care of you. It is extremely difficult to dwell in your sad story while doing things that feed you. Also, if you’re bored of that sad story it’s even more possible for you write a new one. Sad stories can be very sticky but if you change the channel and try on a new narrative eventually they lose interest in you too.
Bridgette DeBoer M.A., is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, marriage and family therapist. She can be reached at 450-6632.