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Changing directions is better than staying put

by Bridgette DeBoer

Sometimes you find yourself trotting along on a path you believe is the right one for you. Maybe it’s what you think you should be doing. Maybe it’s what you’ve told yourself you want. Maybe because you have all these thoughts about it you overlook the struggles and difficulties along the way. Maybe you tell yourself, it’s just resistance and an opportunity to persevere.

Then something happens and all the energy you’ve been using trying to keep it all together just isn’t enough anymore. It all begins to fall apart. You find yourself angry for all the effort you’ve put in. Under the anger is fear. The fear tells you that you have failed or worse you’re not good enough. You struggle for awhile by kicking up the control, attempting to repair what is left. You worry and then when you find yourself as upset as you have ever been, you lean into the discomfort and let go of all of it.

Life feels unbalanced for a while. The pressure of having to fix it all is gone and that feels better. You let go of pushing, and the need to know all the answers, and that feels humble. You rest in a space of not knowing. Not knowing what the next step is. You find that even though you have no idea what you are doing, you’re sleeping better and there is no worry. It’s as if you have thrown your hands up and renounced yourself. This is not about irresponsibility. This is about surrendering. Surrendering to something bigger than you. Admitting you are not alone on this ride called life.



Things slowly begin to shift. Opportunities come your way. Insights pop up. You find yourself walking down a new path.

You actually find yourself feeling renewed and optimistic. You have just changed directions.



You may even entertain the idea that this new path was meant to be, but you had to walk down the other one first.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

Bridgette DeBoer M.A., is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, marriage and family therapist intern. She can be reached at 450-6632.