Breaking the cycle
April 13, 2016
There once lived a woman. This woman was truly blessed with abundance of life. Prosperity and blessings followed her. She was full of light and love and everyone around her felt this energy because she radiated life.
She grew up in poverty and abuse. There were alcoholics and drug addicts around her. Her parents were full of fear and worry. They were so unaware of themselves and their experience that they projected their own shortcomings onto her. Repeating with her the abuse they suffered as children and perpetuating the cycle of dysfunction. This was absorbed into this innocent child as anxiety and fearing the world was unsafe. However, this also planted a seed, a seed of interest and curiosity. "Why do people behave this way?" she asked herself. "They seem so unhappy."
As she grew she began to behave the same way she observed others. Because children learn what they live, she began to learn the lessons of addiction and not feeling good enough. As time passed, the addiction and dysfunction grew strong and she too was very unhappy. But because this amazing seed had been planted it began to grow. The question then became, "Why do I behave this way?"
The years passed and the addiction and anxiety subsided as a result of this seed, self-awareness and inner strength. She began to be more mindful of her behaviors and made the connection between choices and natural consequences. Things changed. She began to experience healing and understanding. Subsequently, time moved on and experiences came and went.
One day she realized how grateful she was to have incurred so much diversity. Having such a rich foundation through experience of human suffering and, on the other end of the spectrum, the elation of an open heart was evident. She became appreciative for the hard times as well as the easy ones. But she realized she still tried to control what came. And again she asked, "Why do I behave this way?" Then a beautiful voice came into her consciousness. It simply said, "Be still." She knew in that moment, it's not about what happens or doesn't happen, it's about being quiet enough to allow the flow of life to move through her.
Bridgette DeBoer M.A., is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, marriage and family therapist. She can be reached at 450-6632.