Trina Machacek: Listing to port

Quick lesson for today could be how to tell the left side of the boat from the right side of the boat. Because if you are in a listing boat it just might come up in conversation with someone on a phone or radio when you report you are listing, just which way you are listing to. Boat sides are starboard and port. You probably know them better as port and starboard. Some words just sound more comfortable in a specific order don’t they? Like one and two instead of two and one. Black and white for some reason come off the tongue easier than white and black. Weird right? Moving on to listing. Easy peasy. And quick. Port is left. Port and left both have four letters. End of lesson and on to the real listing I have on my mind.

Shopping is always an adventure with me. I took a friend with me on a shopping excursion to do my monthly shopping. Feed, repair stuff, lawn and garden stuff, lunch, gas, and the topper — groceries. Now in my house there’s usually just me. I have people over a lot so I tend to have extra stuff, just in case the San Francisco 49ers stop by. I wish! HAHA In reality the shopping I do now is not much compared to what it was a few years ago. So I don’t even think about what I buy. But I make a list. And it’s usually a doozie too.

Listing lists can become a major stumbling block if you let them take over your kitchen, den, or any living space with an available flat surface. Sure we probably have either said or heard it said, “What did we do before Post-it notes?” I’ll tell ya what we did. We used little pieces of paper and Scotch tape. A lot of Scotch tape. If you ever find a shop with a desk, or an older office you will find little sticky pieces of old tape stuck in the most unusual and convenient places. I know because I have spent a good deal of time removing yellowed and very hard to unstick tape from counters and desks and shelving… So Post-it notes are my friend now. Of course I have, in the past, not truly trusted some really important lists on sticky notes so I have been known to use sticky notes and tape. Very double Dutch of me.

Specifically let’s concentrate on the grocery list. I try to keep it on one page. Two pages and I start to have to dig too far into my wallet which unfortunately is not bottomless. Rats. So one page is plenty. My biggest problem and I have to say I have a grand friend who has this same problem. I take my list to the store and get this and that. Then I get sidetracked and buy that and this and the other things But. Yes a port listing “but.” (HAH-A but listing to port — but now you know which way it’s listing!) Anyway. But then I get too tired to shop any longer and inevitably when I get home there is something that I took the time to write on my list that I forgot to buy. Now at first glance this sounds not so bad. But if you go shopping and do the same thing, with the same item, three times? Now it gets into the realm of weird.

Doesn’t matter what the item was. I needed it at least three times. I wanted it at least three times. I wrote it down on three separate lists three times over three months. That’s the definition of want... Right? Well apparently not.

Some people would call that being ditzy. I’m not ditzy. Well maybe a little bit ditzy. Ditzy enough to forget something over and over and over again even though it is written down right in front of me might be part and parcel in just being my ditzy self. Huh. There is another coupling of words that only sound right one way. Part and parcel will probably never be referred to as parcel and part. Nope, it’s only right to be said things can be part and parcel. Yep that’s right. Ah right, aka starboard. Is your head swimming too?

Trina lives in Eureka, Nevada. Find her on Facebook, Instagram or at itybytrina@yahoo.com