Our State Board of Wildlife Commmissioners needs more members

By Don Quilici

On March 1, Assembly Bill No. 152 was introduced into the Nevada State Legislature by the following legislators: Assemblymen Claborn, McCleary, Ohrenschall, Conklin, Atkinson, Giocoechea, Grady, Hogan, Kirkpatrick, Mabey, Manendo, Mortenson, Parnell and Weber.

A.B. 152 proposes to change the composition of the Nevada State Board of Wildlife Commissioners, which governs the Nevada Department of Wildlife and the sportsmen and the sportswomen of Nevada.

The current Commission consists of these nine members:

One member actively engaged in the conservation of wildlife.

One member who is actively engaged in farming.

One member who is actively engaged in ranching.

One member who represents the interests of the general public.

Five members who during at least 3 of the 4 years immediately preceding their appointment to the Commmission held a resident license to fish or hunt or both in Nevada.

A.B. 152 would seek to change that nine-member representation by reducing the five members who have held a license to fish or hunt or both in Nevada to only four members.

Then, a brand new seat would be created to consist of: One member who is actively engaged in accounting and who during at least 3 of the 4 years immediately preceding his appointment held a resident license to fish or hunt or both in Nevada.

ACCOUNTING!

Holy Moly! Geez, in the grand scheme of things that are critical to the future of Nevada, why in the heck do we need to enact a law to specifically include an accountant on the Wildlife Commission?

In my less-than-humble opinion, those 14 legislators missed the target by a mile by introducing A.B. 152. They didn't go far enough!

I (AKA a lowly taxpayer, husband, father, fisherman, hunter and outdoor writer) propose that even more Commission positions be added. In my less-than-humble opinion, my proposed positions are just as important on that Commission as an accountant.

If I had my way, I would add:

One member who is actively engaged in auditing.

Why? Heck, that's easy to answer: He/she would be there to keep the accountant honest, who apparently would be there to keep the other commissioners honest.

One member who is actively engaged in financial consulting.

Yep! He/she would make sure that the auditor did not make any mistakes in keeping an eye on that accountant keeping a close eye on the other commissioners.

One member who is usually successful at catching fish.

He/she would provide valuable input to the other commissioners on where and when to go fishing.

Geez, with any luck, that position could be my stepping stone to having a seat on the Commission.

One member who is usually successful drawing hunting tags.

He/she would offer invaluable wisdom on where and when to go hunting. Sigh - I would not qualify for this seat because I can't draw any of those darn tags.

One member who has been a former member of the Nevada State Legislature.

He/she would be able to provide expert advise on how to successfully enact worthwhile bills and how to effectively stop bad (Sometimes known as "Dumb") bills.

Well, there you have it: A brand new Don Q-Style, Board of Wildlife Commissioners with 14 members.

Oh! Oh! I've got a problem: 14 is an even number. That's not good because that could result in a 7-7 tie vote on some contentious issue.

OK, here's how to solve that: I'll add one more position: One member who is actively engaged in finding sly and devious ways for getting around budgetary restrictions.

This position will then keep the other commissioners busy, who would keep the accountant busy, who would keep the auditor busy, who would keep the financial consultant busy. Right on!

And, if all 14 of those rascals are kept busy, they might forget to apply for a big game hunting tag, which in turn means I might have a better chance of going hunting this Fall.

Geez, all of this deep thinking has given me a migraine headache.

Hmmm, maybe AB 152 should die a quiet, dark death in a chairman's desk drawer.

• Bet Your Favorite Pigeon

Bet your favorite pigeon that he can't tell you what other Assembly bills have raised my eyebrows.

If he says, "Don Q thinks that AB 90, 115, 116 and 173 are also candidates for that desk drawer," he has read those wildlife bills.